Saturday, 8 July 2017

Inventions


Let's invent:


Recipes for American crayfish with Japanese knotweed
24-hour tube trains (happening)
Trousers for schoolgirls
Wheelchairs and pushers for guided walks
Wall plugs at desk height

Tower houses as in Greece or Italy
Pencil blocks (more of them)
Turn redundant malls into housing – happening in America. Shops become flats.
Investment flat owners must rent them out.

Oscar Mendez's recycled plastic houses can be assembled in four hours.

Muzak-free zones
Busker-free zones
Really random shuffle
Pictures and subtitles for radio
Cheaper downloadable audio books
Pubs sell barista coffee and food, and provide more seats
Nicotine patches that look like tattoos
Three-day weekends (suggests the Green Party)
Train tickets to have OUT and BACK printed in HUGE letters.
Use fire engines to clean the pavements.
No-fault divorce.

Mobile phone recharging stations everywhere. (At some railway stations, apparently, and you can use hoover sockets at airports. And there are charging plugs in MacDonald’s.)

Open a zoo with lynx and wolves in the West Country. One day several breeding pairs escape onto Dartmoor...

Send couples, parents and families on the same customer care courses that have transformed shops, offices and transport. It’s easy: be nice, kind and polite instead of grumpy and miserable.

Rename register office marriages as civil partnerships and change wording to “I now pronounce you partner and partner”.

Print 3D models of the Elgin Marbles and return the originals to Greece.

Replace pubs with continental style cafes also selling coffee, chocolate, tea, soft drinks and food – on campuses and at Westminster. And refuse to serve drunk people.

Drain Doggerland and rejoin Britain to Europe. (Richard Littler)

Feed cows seaweed, to use up the seaweed and reduce methane emissions.

Teach all children evolution and sex ed. NO exemptions. (Teach them to touchtype properly as well.)

Racism roadshow: lecture, video, display and café for discussions. Teach some history. (You could do the same with critical thinking.)

Grids on the back of wrapping paper – what took so long? Like wheeled suitcases, very late improvement. Next, loops on towels for hooks. (@WillWiles)

More here, and links to the rest.

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