Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Bathos 5

Barmy? You?
It always lets you down.

Adomnán's Life of Columba is the greatest work of early Hiberno-Latin hagiography. (And Psychomania is the best zombie biker movie starring Beryl Reid you'll see this year.)

Well I've never seen a better collection of Irish Spoon Worms. (@DrMatthewSweet)

Almost certainly the best video of a chicken with a stuck on dinosaur tail walking you'll see all day. (@markprigg)


Are there any words in the english language less likely to make the heart sing than "non-dairy creamer"? (@sumit)

The internet: Perfect for deconstructing every last Oscars non-moment. (Carolina A. Miranda ‏@cmonstah)

Forecasting is difficult, especially about the future.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Also, though, popping out to the chemist's. (Lee Jackson ‏@VictorianLondon)

Someone should be paying me for these gems. Or to go away, whichever is easier. (writer Lee Jackson ‏@VictorianLondon)

Rare and technically accomplished photo of all four of my guinea pigs galloping majestically across the plains. (@TalkingDogGenre)

On 14 October 1968, Euston station was reopened with a cordial grimace by the Queen. (londonist.com)

The room was full of the cigarette smoke that is kind to your throat and nearly always leaves you with one good lung. (Raymond Chandler)

Learn to laugh at yourself – we certainly have!

window mistreatments
(uglyhousephotos.com)

A Wheaton prof helpfully complicates what you think you know about the college community's engagement with Muslims. (writer Jeff Chu)

Philo Vance, accompanied by his prize-losing Scottish terrier, investigates the locked-room murder of a prominent and much-hated collector whose broken Chinese vase provides an important clue. (MovieStillsDB.com)

Good grief. Is there no beginning to this man's talents? (James O'Brien on Jeremy Hunt)

Remember when PG Tips introduced 'instant tea granules'? I often wonder who thought that up and where they were deported to. (writer Dean Burnett@garwboy)

Don't be afraid to do something just because you're scared of what people are going to say about you. People will judge you no matter what. (@madfactz)

We shall not read his like again. With any luck. (Adam Mars-Jones on Henry James)

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's probably really clingy and needy. Let it go again. (@SummerRay)

Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. (Robert Brault)

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo. (Molly Money ‏@probablymolly)

Is there no beginning to this man’s talents? (Koen Smets LINKS on Boris playing the guitar and singing)

Of all the plays I've seen so far in 2015, this one is without a doubt the most recent. 2* (drama critic Ian Shuttleworth)

Bit of a struggle up Box Hill today on the bike, still it was worth it for the view you could literally see for metres around #fog. (weatherman Alex Deakin)

UK prisons in chaos due to cuts, staff shortages and right wing dogma – and that's just according to official reports. (Anindya Bhattacharya @bat020)

Of course I was normal before it went mainstream. (Anindya Bhattacharya @bat020)

Our chances are slim to non-existent!
Really? As good as that?
(Atlantis)

Vote UKIP! It’s a no-brainer! (Twitter joke)

It has taken us two days of really hard work to totally cock this up. (Time Team)

Opening this box will result in Death by Electrocution and a £20 Fine.

You only need to floss those teeth you want to keep. (A. Dentist)

I started out with nothing and still have a lot of it left. (Groucho Marx)

Egomaniacs with a thin shell of grandiosity. (Wall Street Journal April 2014)


At age 13 they enrolled her in a convent school in San Antonio, Texas, in an effort to curb her rebellious ways. This worked as well as one might expect. (straightdope.com)

Cherie singing Like a Virgin in a Gaultier basque? Come on, you want it as much as I do. (Rupert Smith, G December 8, 2005)

The [revolting local delicacy] was as delicious as it sounds.
Celebrities are pouring money into startups—and it's going about how you'd expect. (Christopher Mims ‏@mims)


The UK's first giant vending machine is very British. Every village should avoid them. (@chrisromerlee)

The secret of success is to get up early, work late and strike oil. (John D. Rockefeller)

There was about her the romantic air of High Street, Kensington. (Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage)

All the world's a stage, and some of us are stagehands.Life is not Hollywood, life is Cricklewood.
(Alan Coren)

Nice couple of beers at the Betjeman Arms and Parcel Yard. Station pubs just ain't what they used to be, thank God. (‏@SELondoner)

Abuse of power should come as no surprise. (Jenny Holzer)

If I had wings, I'd be on a table in a research lab. (Christian ‏@Lacdael)


Petronius was a courtier who kept his head while telling Caligula the truth. Claudius used the same strategy.

Caligula: Am I mad?
Claudius: Never. Never! The idea is preposterous. You set the standard of sanity for the whole world!

When they asked the great Arab satirist Al-Jahiz what he thought of [circular] Baghdad, he replied 'I have never seen a rounder city'. (Karl Sharro ‏@KarlreMarks)

And a certain product "Cleans as well as the leading brand".


IRISH BULL
Nuclear fusion: the energy of tomorrow and always will be!

I reckon any scammer would have to get up before he went to bed in order to steal a march on you.
(S to P)

No man is an island so I'll make myself a boat.
(Christian ‏@Lacdael)

Radio 3's difficulty seems to me that it has no idea what it wants to be, and it will never be satisfied until it achieves this. (WW)
“How do I get to Letterkenny?” “If I wanted to go there I wouldn’t start from here.” (Traditional)


More here, and links to the rest.

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