|Where'd they go?|
We shouldn’t imprison people for Twitter rape and death threats because free speech and the Charlie Hebdo massacre. "Since #CharlieHebdo I keep seeing people being arseholes/racists and generalising large groups of people in the name of free speech #stop" Jan 17 (@BeckyMccerery)
curate (the verb) is everywhere.
The Stephen Fry “taking offence” meme is back in force. And everybody saying it as if they’re the first person to have thought of it.
Why is there no white history month? (Again. Again, everybody saying it as if they’re the first person to have thought of it. Twitter troll farm? PS International Men's Day is 19 Nov.)
kalettes or flower sprouts “trending”
The language of objectification, misogyny, sexism and other isms is back.
on fleek (something like “on top form”)
Lots of “panic” about snow “panic” in New York City, 27 Jan. (Think they mean “media reports, weather forecasts” as usual. It is snowing quite hard there.)
More and more people complaining about email as if there were no solutions (and as if they were the first to think of it). Hire a secretary or virtual assistant to slim your inbox (or learn how to do it yourself), learn to touch type. Remember the days before email and how much time was taken up writing letters and answering the phone.
Twitter is full of middle-class people handling the words “Super” and “Bowl” with tongs, while Americans complain about the ad breaks. (Feb 1)
It’s hard to say that you couldn’t learn the times tables, in a week when the Ed Sec says that all kids should know them or the head will be sacked. (“If you can learn poetry, you can learn the times tables!”, says a liberal educationist, after claiming three times that I could learn them if I wanted to. Well, no.)
We “panic” about snow, and then when it arrives it’s “pathetic”! (Feb 2 2015)
bobbins (means "rubbish", apaz)
bantz and haterz have gone
Anti-Vax and Climate Change Denial are now religions. Membership tells people who you are, and is about faith, not evidence.
Ritual whingeing about Valentine’s Day inflation. (Someone called the whingers “left-wing Puritans”.)
“Restores my faith in humanity” and “giving up on humanity” are both still popular, though ill-defined.
Many ask “why isn’t there a None of the Above” option and are surprised to discover that there is a NOTA movement.
People are coming up with 100 reasons for not voting (We are powerless tools of a global corporate conspiracy, politics never changed anything. And look what happened.)
Welcome back “yah boo” and “No kidding.”
You can get a doll of practically anybody.
smash: speed records etc
The three schoolgirls who have gone to Syria are jihadi devil women/Why is there all this media coverage of three schoolgirls who have gone to Syria?
BBC celebrating Holi festival. Why stop there?
Bracing self for “It’s MOTHERING SUNDAY! Mother’s Day is an American invention to make people spend money and they celebrate it on the WRONG DAY!”
People affecting detached world-weariness about the eclipse. (OK, it was pretty underwhelming.) And “nanny state” over eclipse glasses.
Scarfolk (The 70s were funny enough as they were.)
meff (lame, dim, wears the wrong brands)
vidya (videogames, me lud)
Assistant social media editor is now a job title. (Firms have realised that it’s like marketing, you have to pay someone to do it instead of leaving it to an intern.)
Bizarre reasons why transsexuals shouldn't use female toilets.
There isn’t really a gender pay gap because [reason]. (I think they’ve all read the same paperback. Oh, it’s because men and women’s pay isn’t comparable because there are few women in top, high-paying jobs.)
Several people (like Tim Lott and the governor of Indiana) are genuinely baffled by the furious response to their reactionary ideas. (“I just don’t understand why they’re angry.”)
GRIL: gonna read it later.
fakery (around for a while)
“Why aren’t we allowed to talk about immigration?” (Means “Why aren’t we allowed to complain about immigration?”)
confusion about what "racist" means
Depressing number of people whingeing that they are bored of the election already, and wheeling out the old “But I want my vote to count”, and “none of the above” memes. Oh, give them PR, if only to shut them up.
Election coverage being referred to as “the horror”: "Thankfully we're usually spared the full horror - only a few minutes on the news." (The same people like to complain that we are “sleep-walking into a police state”.)
Reasons for not voting become more and more baroque. Middle-aged middle-class people furious that their one and only vote is no more or less influential than anybody else’s.
Party leaders campaign on “Vote for US! We’ll give you money, the others will only take it away!”
I’m all about the...
MIPIM (Global property developer org. Abhumans from the pit of hell.)
In 3, 2, 1.
When did people stop writing “He said he wouldn’t stand again, but he’s doing just that”? It drove me mad, but “he’s doing so” is worse, far worse.
Preparing for outbreak of “fawning” when Kate has her baby.
deepen for worsen
Everybody going on about movie trailers and critiquing them as if they were the movie itself. (And now we get "teasers for the trailer" before the trailer. And "notifications" of the teaser...)
In case you’re concerned about our rapid transit to Hell via handcart, an expert on college slang writes: “Only about 10% of the slang terms used survive a year”.
Gamergate and the meninists have quietened down – but they’ll be back.
Kate’s gone into labour, here comes the “fawning”:
Here we go. Royal baby blanket news coverage ahead. Forget about the election, a week of fawning over some kid born into sickening wealth. (PAB C Nesbitt @PAB190968)
Nothing the Tories will like better than a Royal birth with just a few days left till elections, millions cooing, fawning & doffing. :-( (Alan Wylie @wylie_alan)
tribal”used to mean “my party right or wrong”
People complaining about being .@-ed. (Meanwhile rape and death threats continue.)
American press using “dignity” a lot re equal marriage and riots in Baltimore. “these riots aren’t a black or white thing – they’re a humanity thing, a dignity thing”. (Tavis Smiley in Time)
tectonic plates (politics) May 2015
spiralising (device for creating green smoothies) (Looks like Pippa Middleton is flogging them. And there must be some device for turning courgettes into green spaghetti.)
Miniature fairy gardens are a thing.
lots of “smashing” as Picasso reaches record price (Do paintings by women “smash” records?)
Republicans/Conservatives accusing Democrats/socialists of “always blaming someone else for their failures”.
“God I’m bored of this election run-up” has morphed into “Can you all shut up about it now?” It’s your country, your government – couldn’t you at least try to be interested? 2015-05-13
The Labour Party isn’t socialist, you poor fool! (Also works with “Green Party”.)
Has “metrosexual” lost its original meaning (think it was “heterosexual man who uses grooming products”) to become code for those “metropolitan elites”? Oooh, now “metroliberal values”!
Chuka Umunna has been in a “very bad place”.
coasting schools (as undefined as “slums”, someone points out)
Impossible to mention “unions” without “ransom”, “barons” and “paymasters”.
wealth creators for workers – or for the firms that employ them?
aspiration (end of May. Parties all want to offer aspiration and appeal to the aspirant. They mean “aspire to social mobility”, by which they mean “get richer”.)
champagne socialists (lots of “joking” about prosecco, which has morphed into real venom) Because the better-off can’t possibly care about the poor or want to help them. Metropolitan elites are this week’s hate figures for people who don’t approve of other people having hate figures.
asymmetrical warfare (same old Cold War)
said nobody anywhere ever
I am shocked – shocked! – to find... (Quote from Casablanca)
badum-tish (when nobody has done this for years – I mean using actual drum sticks and cymbals)
neoliberalism (whatever that is)
I love my office! (over picture of beach, forest, mountains etc)
On the anniversary of Magna Carta, a lot of sniping about its provisions (only benefits landowners, all about eel traps, doesn’t mention women). And it was repealed immediately. You can read it here.
videos of your child’s sports day on FB
Looks as if Stephen Fry was right about the plague of “taking offence” – but it’s happening in US academia. (Spread here October.)
ghosting: quitting a relationship without warning, taking all your stuff and leaving no contact details
phrogging: pretending to leave, but continuing to live in the attic
trigger being used for “bring back painful memories” and also “start” or “cause” pretty much anything. Seems to come from hacker speak (computer programming language).
Nobody complaining about “silence inflation” over the two-minutes silence for the Tunisian shooting victims.
Latest anti-hipster slur is that they “photograph their food instead of eating it”.
Tories claiming that NHS is paid for by “taxpayers” and not by the people who use it. Also claiming that poor people cause all their own diseases by “bad choices” – smoking, eating and drinking too much, and being couch potatoes. Yes, that’s how I broke my leg and contracted Lyme disease.
Refoulement means the expulsion of persons who have the right to be recognised as refugees. The principle of non-refoulement was laid out in 1954 in the UN-Convention relating to the Status of Refugees. (Unesco)
pro: a meaningless syllable that makes your product sound better
Have we stopped thinking that we can all mysteriously make money from the internet?
dollar for money early July
Some people are still getting very upset over some aspect of pop cult that’s been around for years and that is not going to go away now (like LOL!).
silo for clique, cabal or bubble
First instance of “Christmas starts earlier every year” (in response to a BACK TO SCHOOL banner on the last day of term), spotted July.
We don’t design products or write books but “develop” them.
Writers have stopped calling everything “major”, but “key” is still with us. (What’s the difference between “key stage three” and “stage three”? Is “key” different from “core”?)
witch hunt, lynch mob – in the context of historic sex crime allegations (All accusers are in it for the money and fame, the media gangs up on prominent people as usual. And refugees are all in search of the good life, they’re all “economic migrants”.)
If I read the words “Tony B. Liar” once more I shall scream.
What’s happened to those journalists who wrote sneering articles about Twitter and Facebook without joining either (full of silly “likes”, pictures of your dinner, Stephen Fry has a cup of coffee)? They always predicted socmed’s imminent demise, too. (“Radio is here to stay!” Fred Allen circa 1935)
journey now ubiquitous
Padrón peppers (They’re hotter, of course, gaining them extra middle-class points.)
vape now means “smoke an electronic cigarette”, not vapourise or vapourware
bake, bite, thin (Low-calorie snacks aimed at women and sold as “tasty!”. You’re supposed to eat them with those “creamy” spreads that are 0% fat because they’re mainly methyl cellulose.)
Lot of Banksy-hating after he opened a theme park called Dismaland.
Today the Queen becomes the longest-reigning British monarch – look out for “fawning”! Only spotted “vomit-inducing monarchist sycophancy” so far.
hysteria about hysteria about snow has started (in the US): “The hysterical forecasts for world-ending snow every winter...” FB
Everybody hates “reach out to” for “contact” all of a sudden. It’s been around for years. And wasn’t there a similar fuss about “contact”? (But perhaps its meaning now shades into "market to".)
And now people are attacking the father of the two boys who were washed up on a beach. Lived the high life in a resort in Turkey, was actually a people trafficker...
Corbyn, refugees – wave of bile from Daily Mail commenters. And instant urban legends. And catastrophising. Yes, Corbyn will turn Britain into a Stalinist dictatorship and if you let in Muslim refugees your country will become a satellite of ISIS.
“Refugees? They are economic invaders and they want to impose Sharia Law on the UK...” Letter to Sheffield Star
“Young people are using technology at a very granular level.” (BBC Breakfast)
OK, stick a fork in me. (What on earth mean? Gone again, October.)
Usual poppy whingeing starts early due to Corbyn wearing a white one (in previous years). (2015-09-15)
Endless articles re Agatha Christie (she’s cosy, her murders are bloodless and all set in country villages) by people who have never read her books or her autobiography. Some writers seem surprised that she wasn't Miss Marple (She roller skated! She surfed!)
Death of blogging announced, again.
Are adblockers the end of journalism as we know it? late Sept 2015
People are still complaining about “liking” things on social media. In 2015.
Annual poppy whingefest, Oct 2. Boris wore a poppy during a tug-of-war! How dare the BBC issue a directive and force interviewees to wear poppies....? (BBC representative issues denial.) Now combined with Halloweenophobia: Didn’t start here, shouldn’t happen here! (It started here.) There are 101 reasons for not wearing a poppy, and 101 reasons for disapproving of Halloween.
“Cohesion” popular week of the Tory conference.
They looked from man to pig and from pig to man.... Popular week of the Tory conference. And nobody can let Diane Abbott forget that she sent her son to a private school.
Tories quite querulous about being called “vile”. You’d have thought they could have seen that coming.
immersive experience (What every museum or exhibition has to be. Especially when they haven’t got many – or any – actual objects. Does it mean “It’s dark and there’s an intrusive, inappropriate soundtrack”?)
Churches the new Airbnb as 'champing' proves popular (Yes, camping overnight in a church.)
smize: smile with your eyes (October 15 2015)
plum for fool
flu vaccine conspiracy theories spotted late October
Suddenly there are hundreds of articles about procrastination. October
Luvvies are the new champagne socialists. And how dare socialists have been to private school and then have the gall to er er er
Audiences shocked by Suffragettes. "Men were so beastly! And women didn’t have the vote!”
First “Xmas starts too early” moan. (2015-11-01)
Chorus of moans about the John Lewis ad.
People using social media to explain that they loathe social media, science is wrong, and the earth is flat.
hopey, changey endings are back (The Hunt - bitey and killy)
chiselled now means ripped abs
“Resilience” takes on a sinister new meaning in the light of college protests in Missouri. Black students should be “resilient” to racism, while white students can go to Halloween parties in blackface because “free speech”. I think. It’s hard to tell, thanks to the heavy rain of academic doublespeak. Apparently now black people in America have created all their own problems, and shouldn’t blame anybody else! (Nov 2015)
virtue signalling (Like champagne socialists. If the virtue signallers are insincere, surely the Tories have nothing to worry about? As you were, chaps, nobody really cares about anybody else.)
Atrocities in Paris, and the twittersphere is all about blaming others for having the wrong attitude.
ritual whingeing about Black Friday – it’s American, you know. But is it cultural appropriation?
tiny violins now stand in for “my heart bleeds!” (Originally a street musician playing melancholy tunes.)
US Twitter is full of feeble jokes about turkeys.
Photographing road markings is now a thing.
More here, and links to the rest.